is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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