Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
