She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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