I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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