South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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