Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
