I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
