You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
