About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize