new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
