just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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