my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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