i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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