He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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