i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
All the doctor said was why
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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