I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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