She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
