Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
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I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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