She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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