Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
