Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
