We're facebook friends in real life
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize
