just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
