so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just tell him i said nine months
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
