Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
