i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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