Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
