youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
