hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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