walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
birth control should be required to get into college
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
