twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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