He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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