I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
