Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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