She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
