She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
