...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
