But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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