Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
