Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
