I am in a vortex of obligation.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
