u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
