I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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