One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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