I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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