Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
