I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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