why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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