I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
