i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
