who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?