I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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