Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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