Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
