How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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